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Thursday, May 11th, 2006

Time:9:37 pm.
All it took was one conversation, a few words concerning something that has been lost, and I'm back where I started. But then again did it even get any easier? If anything it got harder to think about us without breaking down. Those words exchanged raised so many false hopes that I'm now dismissing as each new one rises to the surface. I know now that I'll never forget and that I'm stuck here, trapped within my own misery. And now that I'm being overwhelmed with these feelings, I'm wondering what I would do if I saw you again. Worst of all I have no one to confide in, I lost my confidant.
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Monday, April 10th, 2006

Time:12:46 pm.
Mood: giddy.
sooo im now happy again...woooo!...due to one special lady who goes by the name of kristen....yes i have an uber crush...aaaand im going to the homo hop with her this saturday(andddd sleeping over:D)...soooo excited...shes sooo perdy, and she can actually beat me up, its really impressive...anywhore...thats really all i have to say
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Monday, April 3rd, 2006

Time:1:31 am.
Mood: depressed.
I keep finding little reminders everyday that throw me into hysteria everytime. I tried to not care, but I care way too much. There's that empty dull ache that I've been carrying with me, and I've tried, but it wont go away. I have vowed to never let myself be the vulnerable again, I cannot handle the consequences. I just want to hold you one last time.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, January 31st, 2006

Time:10:43 pm.
wow im horrible at updating this, yet another month has gone by without any updating. not much has really happened in that month, ive finished all my exams and the weekend that just past was probably the best weekend of my life, i quit smoking and celebrated my 3 month with my amazing girlfriend. she motivated me to quit smoking...well bribed me with the movie Foxfire, even though she already bought it. this weekend made me realize what i would do just to make her happy, cause she is the most beutiful person in the world inside and out. so aside from being totally in love theres not too much going on, im just looking forward to feb 24th(METRICCCC!!!!) and then march break (CUBAAAAAA!!!) and then i cant wait for the fucking summer!!! ill be alll done school and have much more time to spend with my girl, wooo!!
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Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

Time:8:10 pm.
so i have completely neglected my LJ.....because im lazy...so i decided now that i would update...cause im just THAT bored....ummm...lets see...christmas was good...i got fun presents and whatnot....i spent so much time with my family that i just wanna hide in my room for a few days and not see them for a bit...i love em...but i just got sick of em hahaha...oh im a horrible person....uh tomorrow Danielle comes back...im sooo excited about that...i havent seen/talked to her in a week.....which absolutely blows. other then that the only exciting thing happening is that i found out my cat is part of the conspiracy...he's stealing my guitar picks....all the time...they go missing and once and a while ill find one in a really random spot..."they" have gotten to him im sure of it....its almost time for me to take over the world...ive been slowly trying to set things in motion...but i think now i must go make my cape and suit....and take action!!! then i will have my castle and all my friends will live with me, and ill give people countries if i love them enough...and i will rule the world...but i wont be mean like hitler...dont worry...but i will be crazy, that i cannot help...i already am..and theres no changing it...so i will be crazy, and nice, and everyone will be happy...but until then we must fight the conspiracy!!!




oh man...keep the caffiene away from me...see what it does!!!!!!(but dont really steal my caffeine and ill kill you!!!)

aaaaaaaand im spent. phew.
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Friday, October 21st, 2005

Time:7:45 pm.
i wrote something...but ive now decided i will not post it here...cause random people i dont know read my journal, and its weird, and im like double-yew-tee-eff...so yeah...deleting livejournal soon...because yes i dont like you anymore livejournal
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005

Time:5:04 pm.
so um went to guelph this weekend...best(though most random)weekend ever. fallen for the most amazing girl ever...and eventually people are gonna slap me for talking about her all the time.heh. school fucking blows um appearantly i was supposed to be trying this year...not really working out...oh and ive diagnosed myself with ADD....More, Now, Again is an amazing book, but its got me feelin kinda sad...so i guess its good in that way....yeah thats it im done
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 10th, 2005

Subject:i got a funny feeling they've got plastic in the afterlife
Time:7:21 pm.
Mood: scerene.
i think i may be happy now, lets leave it at that...i may have found someone, someone who gives me that cant eat cant sleep, stay up all night just to talk to you feeling, could be good for us in the long run...and its been months and finally the desire's out there...so im feelin pretty good, pretty optimistic. ive eaten too much turkey, and im going to explode...its a fun thing...exploding turkey. and my dear livejournal friends(all of whom will not comment on this) happy turkey day to you! this weekend was a pile of boring...cept for saturday night, i got drunk with lyse...watched movies...cause we have no friends, but its cool....next weekend work...then im off to guelph, and i couldn't be more excited about it...thats all for now, goodbye and goodnight
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005

Time:1:51 pm.
yo bitches

school started today, my art teacher grew his hair out, it looks cute, and other than that, nothings changed.

im coming up with lots of crazy ideas for stories, but i havent gotten around to getting them on paper, but theyre in my head along with other filing cabnets full of things that jump to the front of my mind every now and then. ive discovered that the light in my basement is part of the conspiracy, i turn it on, and it wont turn on until ive already gone down there and back upstairs again, its ok though, ill fix it, if you know what i mean. ive got connections, some guy by the name of frankie jr is gonna have a "little talk" with that light. well my parents have informed me that there is spaghetti on the table with my name on it, so thats all folks!
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Sunday, August 21st, 2005

Subject:fuck fuck fuckity fuck
Time:9:55 pm.
Mood: cranky.
im bored and pissy(when your uterus is bleeding lifes a bitch)so i thought id update....um yeah got a job at Tim Hortons...money is good and I need it....ermmmm got in another fight with my mom about me being a huge lesbian and all....and im having a real hard time trying to make my life sound interesting in this post....oh yeah and someone drive me to New Jersey in time for christmas! k cool thanks.

peace out
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Sunday, August 7th, 2005

Time:7:12 pm.
1. age/gender? 16/female
2. what is the highest number of people you've had sex with in a 24 hour period? 1
2. how many people have you had sex with? 8
3. lost virginity at what age? 15
4. how many blow jobs/oral sex have you given? erg..i dunno
6. how many one night stands? 8
7. ever banged your friend's significant other? yes
8. ever cheated? yes
9. have you ever participated in group sex of 4 or more? no
10. would you have a threesome with your spouse? maybaaay
11. do you like to be watched when you masturbate? erm no
12. how often do you masturbate? everyday and twice on sundays...haha i dunno
13. what do you masturbate to? your mom
14. if you can, do you masturbate while driving? i dont drive
15. most forbidden person you wanted to bang? i dunno
16. ever had a gay/lesbian experience? bahaha...stupid question...duh YES!
17. like the taste of pussy? your moms
18. like the taste of cum? ew no
19. would you let someone piss on you if they begged you? ewie no...thats what toilets are for
20. how many times can you cum consecutively in the same session? 43...pshhh
21. use toys? your moms
22. ever masturbated at work? haha no
23. craziest place you've had sex?soccer feild or my school bathroom
24. like anal? noo
25. do you like having your asshole licked? ugh no
26. ever fantasize about being raped? no thats kinda odd
27. do you ever fantasize about being treated like a piece of meat? no...they barbeque meat! that would be fun!
28. foot fetish? ewww feet grosssss
29. how often do you have sex? i dunno yesterday i was called slut
30. where is your hot spot? in your pants
31. when you're with your significant other, do you think of others to get off? no
32. weirdest thing you have masturbated with? haha a guitar!!...lol i dunno
33. met anyone off craigslist and had sex the first night? huhhhh?
33a. if not, would you ? huh? again
34. how many porn's do you have? none im not 18 yet:(
35. faked an orgasm? no
36. favorite position? in your pants
37. ever paid for sex? haha no..i dont have to!...bahaha
38. ever had sex in a club? nope but that would be fun
39. how many is too many? pshh i dunno
40. ass or tits? wha
41. ever had cyber sex? haha no...jokingly though
42. phone sex? no
43. dirtiest fantasy? teeheee im not telling.
44. ever taped yourself? no
45. taken dirty pictures? eh kinda...not really, maybee
46. when you look in the mirror at your own naked body, do you get aroused? yes im hot
47. do you play with yourself in the mirror? i tried playing catch in the mirror..that didnt work
48. how many times have you tried to orally service yourself? whaaa
49. ever had sex with someone and didn't know his or her name? no...wait...oh i kinda new the name
50. ever had sex with anyone famous? nope
51. what is your biggest complaint about your sex life or partner? not enough..?
52. ever done it in an elevator? No but i will eventually
53. fucked a co-worker? nope
54. how long does it take you to get off alone? i dont time these sorta things..
55. what is the one thing upon sight that will always get you horny? a really hot stomache
56. domination or submission? little of both.
57. better sex while sober, buzzed or drunk buzzed is best? sober or buzzed
58. the thrill of getting caught, or the thrill of doing something "wrong?"? both
59. ever have sex in a fairly obvious spot hoping you'd get caught? yes...but we were in plain sight of people
59a. were you? yes..once again in plain sight
60. costumes or "au naturale?" whaa
61. for oral, what is your absolute, mind bending favorite technique to receive? haha
62. to give? hahaha.
63. is there a song which brings back a memory of sex? sure.
64. a movie? no.
65. ever had sex with someone of another race? No
66. ever used someone? maybe
67. feel like masturbating now? yes!!!
67a. are you? haha oh yeah, when am i not...bahaha
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Monday, July 4th, 2005

Subject:Ive got this friend you see, who makes me feel.
Time:11:45 am.
Mood: sore.
For a moment time, as we know it, was suspended. And as the chaos encircles me again, she seduces me with rhythmatic mood swings. She insinuates lust without a hint of hesitation. It's inconcievable, how indifferent I am to this body of water. I predict in the future passion will be shared, whether it's one chance at bliss or drawn out relations, it is as reliable as any universal constant. I am proned to disease and she happens to be a pulsating virus of confidence. It is what they don't know that I am sure about, and I strive on within this one certain fact. A new being is thriving deep inside my insides, not yet presenting itself to my ever constant self-analyzing nature. I re-read, edit, analyze, until I lose the purpose and goal in mind. She chases this out of me and causes endless hours infront of mirrors, relishing in self-doubt. Though I suppose it would be quite selfish to tear her current existance apart to include myself in her schedual, but I cannot subside the yearnings for unjudged campanionship. She is unconventional beauty, showered in confidence, yet so human.
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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005

Time:5:02 pm.
I didn't do it to be happy, so I can whine. If I could drive, I'd be gone by now. The truth is what will put distance between us. I always fall for those who are taken, and the ones I dont care for fall in love with me. Wel I cant help that I dont feel anything, just stop torturing yourself...Im really not that great of a catch. You make me sound better in your head believe me. You should have seen how he stopped talking to me upon the discovery that im a dyke. its almost the summer...and I dont wanna spend it here...someone take me on vacation...we can party hardy!
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Tuesday, June 14th, 2005

Time:1:08 pm.
You are dispersing your energies, candice, and you know it. You go out to dinner in town, attend parties and shows, but you are never really present. You listen to people but what they are saying doesn't interest you in any fundamental way. Yes, you are bored, and you're afraid to admit it to yourself. The depth of your inner search requires that you use a lot of energy reexamining your life.



exactly how i was feeling today...best discription of my feelings at the moment and of me in general from sympatico horiscopes to boot ha
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Thursday, June 9th, 2005

Subject:ugh!...and a half
Time:7:16 pm.
Mood: hyper.
Soooooo..havent updated for a bit...goddamn homework. ugh, ive been applying for jobs, ive given up persuing someone(because its just getting to be a waste of my time)(soo many months and i got no where)(well i got somewhere...once), started thinking about persuing someone else(but i really cant at the moment...yes there are reasons). ummmm, yeah i have not one ounce of creativity left in me, its really quite scary..its all cause i fucking need something to happen...anything...currently me and everything around me are in a stand-still. Tragic or wonderful, just something happen, cause im so bored....you know what...i want someone to call me in the middle of the night...just once...it be the coolest thing you could do for me. Insomnias a bitch and coffee is heaven on earth. The end...only cause i need a smoke.
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Monday, May 16th, 2005

Time:2:57 pm.
Just like the drugs, you're keeping me up. Drain me of everything I am and steal my car, cause you know you could destroy my everything without me so much as flinching in the void you've left for me.
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Time:2:14 pm.

Your Deadly Sins



Lust: 60%

Greed: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 17%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.






hahahahahaha...sweet way to die!
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Monday, May 9th, 2005

Subject:I gave up long before you even cared.
Time:10:53 pm.
Mood: apathetic.
Her presence penatrates the barrier of my nervous system, and Im left in the fetal position grasping on to my pride. I come undone at the seems, and im here exposed, so pick me apart and take me here. Breathe because I'll pull you down underneath it all with me. The air, liquid humility, makes me feel like I'm stripped to the bone. Your vision, like microwave radiation, it plagues me with cancer.
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Sunday, May 8th, 2005

Time:7:54 pm.
Mood: crushed.
No time for creative writting....

Just to the facts,

Im in love and im starting to feel like I cant deal with one night stands anymore, yes they're a hell of fun, but I wake up the next morning in love and there's nothing i can do about it...its just starting to hurt. If I leave you alone will you start to love me back?...No I really didnt think so either. It was worth a try. I understand now why you dont want me there, but please let me take you away from it. Oh god someone slap some sense into me.

Goodnight
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 17th, 2005

Subject:Love is a ring, the telephone.
Time:1:32 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Acid washed, stained jeans, you're making me fall and in my flight it's what I saw. You draw me to decay, and in your arms the sky glazes over just like your eyes. In my womb please bury your scent and send toxins through my vain. Let it run to my head, and ill fanasize a future that will never exist.
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LiveJournal for kandice.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.